Something

Gday,

My blogs have got pretty shit lately so I apologise and will try to make this one a little better.. but you know, it happens. Anyway saturday caught a tro-tro to labadi to visit the boys (papa and kwasi) and was really good to see them again. Went to sister joyces and saw akua and the gang too. Decided to stay the night in accra rather than going to kokrobite. Just had all these little feelings pointing to the fact that I shouldnt be going there that night, so I decided to follow the gut and pass, wanted to spend more time with the guys anyway so had dinner with the family and Kwasi and I caught a tro-tro to a bar called next door which was playing like live hi-life regaae etc. We had a really good chat and a drink then went down to the beach which was so beautiful. It was a really clear night, full moon in the sky, and the waves were crashing on these big black rocks where we were sitting. It was really peaceful and even the stoned rastas couldnt ruine it. Had a good little dance too, every time I dance here I feel so alive and I realise how I should really be aiming to do it every day. Movement is so important and I am going to look into doing much more of it when I return to australia. Anyway came home about 1am and went to bed. The male attention here is getting a bit tiresome to be honest. Guys constantly come up, first question is "Can I be your friend?" second is "do you have an email address?" I have tried to explain that you have to develope a friendship and get to know each other first etc but it usually goes over their heads and has gotten to the point now that I have just had to sometimes say " No I have too many friends sorry" they cant argue with that and just go away! I hate having to frequently avoid/ignore people here though because its really against my nature but if I didnt I would spend the whole day exchanging emails. Two of the girl volunteers here are having sex with refugees (talk about giving an extra helping hand) which is a pretty delicate situation and something Ive kept my mouth shut about . I do sometimes forget that I am living amongst people who have been through extreme trauma/circumstance. Many of the rebels who did some really really fucked up stuff live on camp too which is pretty frightening. I am sometimes reminded again of where I am when I notice people with stab/gun/burn wounds on their bodies or hear another story. Because the conflict in Liberia ended awhile ago the people here are not technically considered as 'refugee status' anymore because they are technically free to return to their own country. Going back brings into the picture a whole new set of problems however, many which involve money. They dont have a house to go to go to plus majority are are unskilled therefor would not be able to get jobs or support themselves. Plus the fact that there is still a certain level of danger in going back. Although there is rarely outright violence in Liberia, I was speaking to a guy the other day who said there is still a small amount of hatred/animosity boiling away in some areas and people are known to return and be quietly killed with poison in their food etc. Many of the people here and have not seen there families for over 10 years either. Going back is just a very complicated process for many so most choose to just stay here living a life which atleast offers some level of stability and I suppose makes it easier to try and forget. Its no wonder us obrunnis get so much attention though when you really think about it- Desperation is the key word and I do not blame them in treating us like ATMs with boobs, Not to mention a ticket out of this place and a chance for a new life. Anyway sunday morning met up with Jessie who was in Accra to go back to camp, on the way home we stopped off at this little area called Kaneshe. There was this market there which was so intense. Humoungous live snails which they get from the bush somewhere (not exactly sure what they do with them but they were selling them anyway) Massive crabs scuttling around in a bowl and I saw a dried dead goat with his tongue hanging out amongst other indecipherable cuts of meat dripping with blood. As I said - intense. Really love that shit though where you just feel like you're in some alternate universe and love every minute. Came home and bought some fruit, played Yatze with Michelle which was fun and then had dinner with Jessie, Michelle and TH. They are very very intelligent people and we had some great conversations over dinner (cooked plaintains, tomatoes, groundnuts,lime and onion-yummy!!) Made me really want to start learning again and am definitely intent on studying something next year, whatever it is, just to keep my mind busy and start re-lighting that flame again if that makes sense. Today was a good day and pretty productive. Feel like I will be able to leave this place and have done something atleast, which is so important. I remembered a little thought I came up with awhile ago which has popped back into my head over the past week. Make sure with everything you commit to or experience (no matter how big or small, seemingly insignificant or pointless) make sure you leave having; Something to Show, Somewhere to Go and Something New that you Know.


Amen to that (and no dont worry I havent been converted yet)